


I'll Love You Till The Sun Dies

by Fallenstar92



Series: Ian And Mickey's Love story (songfics) [7]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Cheating, Depression, Eating Disorders, Established Relationship, Good sister Mandy, Hospitalization, Lip is the voice of reason, M/M, Reconciliation, Recovery, Song Lyrics, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-15
Updated: 2017-08-15
Packaged: 2018-12-15 16:25:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11809770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fallenstar92/pseuds/Fallenstar92
Summary: Mickey catches Ian cheating on him with Lloyd and breaks up with the redhead. After the harsh reality of how his cheating effected Mickey-with the help of a kick in the ass from Lip-Ian tries to make it up to the man he loves. But will it work?Loosely based on "Little Do You Know" by Alex & Sierra





	I'll Love You Till The Sun Dies

_Little do you know_

_How I’m breaking while you fall asleep_

* * *

Mickey should have known something was up when Ian stopped coming home right after work, but he just assumed Ian had been going out for drinks with his coworkers; he had never been more wrong in his fucking life. One night after Ian fell asleep, Mickey heard the generic text tone they both used coming from the nightstand, and-considering they had the exact same phone and passcode-he blindly opened the phone, only to see a text from someone named "Ned."

_Ned(2:15AM): When can I see you again, Gingersnap?_

Mickey felt sick; who the fuck was this and why was he texting Mickey's boyfriend after two in the fucking morning? Mickey knew he shouldn't-he really did-but he started snooping through Ian's phone. The pictures were what he expected; Ian and himself in fucking cliché couple pictures, his siblings, fucking sunsets, their twin Bulldogs, Gomez and Fester, and pictures of Mickey asleep or laughing. The texts-however-were a different story; he expected the texts from Ian's siblings and himself-all very normal on his siblings' parts, and sweet in the messages between Ian and himself-but the messages from "Ned" were all very... Intense. They were incredibly sexual and the man had told Ian-Mickey's fucking boyfriend-that he loved him at one point. Their were pictures exchanged-nudes and the same type of silly selfies Ian and himself would exchange-and plans for their meetings.

"Mick?" Mickey had even realized he was hyperventilating until Ian sat up and said his name. "Mick, are you-" Ian noticed his phone in Mickey's hand-clutched so tightly Ian was surprised the screen wasn't cracking-and paled.

"How long?" Mickey asked, his breathing still ragged and harsh.

"Mickey-" Ian started, only to be cut off when Mickey turned and glared at him.

"How fuckin' long have you been fuckin' him, Ian?! How long have you been fuckin' a guy old enough to be your fuckin' dad behind my Goddamn back?!" Mickey yelled, tossing Ian's phone at him. "How fuckin' long, Ian?"

"Three months." Ian admitted, refusing to look at Mickey. "Mick, honey, I swear-" Mickey cut him off, again.

"Don't fuckin' call me that!" Mickey yelled, jumping off the bed-startling Gomez and Fester in the process-in an effort to get farther away from the man, who-until a half an hour ago-he thought loved him. "Pack your shit and go to Lip's; I don't wanna fuckin' see you, again, so get everything that's yours and get the fuck outta my house." Mickey ordered, walking out of the bedroom with both dogs behind him until Ian was gone. Mickey may not be perfect, but he deserved better than this.

* * *

_Little do you know_

_I’m still haunted by the memory_

* * *

Two months after Ian had moved out, Mickey was still fucked up over Ian effectively ending a six year relationship with his infidelity; he only left his house when he had to work, walk the dogs, or go to the grocery store, and when he was at home he spent the whole time curled up in a ball in the bed he and Ian had shared for the past four years. "Brought you some food from the diner." Mandy said softly as she walked into her brother's bedroom.

"Thanks." Mickey mumbled, scratching Fester behind his ear. Mandy sighed, moving to sit on the other side of Fester.

"Talked to Lip; he said Ian's not doin' too well." Mandy informed her brother, petting the dog softly.

"Don't care; he shoulda thought about that shit before he started fuckin' someone else. We were still fuckin' sleeping together, Mandy! He coulda caught somethin' from that vigaroid and gave it to me, for Christ's sake!" Mickey yelled, moving himself into a sitting position. "I fuckin' loved him, and he cheated on me."

"I know, Mick." Mandy said gently, wrapping an arm around her brother's shoulders. "I'm sorry this shit is happing to you." Mandy whispered, letting Mickey lay his head on her shoulder and pretending she didn't notice he was crying to save his dignity.

* * *

  _Little do you know_

_I’m trying to pick myself from piece_

* * *

After three months, Mickey started trying to rebuild his life, though he did so very slowly; he'd go to the Alibi and talk to Kev, meeting up with coworkers for drinks on the weekend, and allowing guys to hit on him, though he never went home with any of them. He wasn't ready to do that shit, just yet. "Hey there." A man said as Mickey sat at the bar of some shitty club his friend-Tanner-dragged him to on a random Saturday night. Mickey wasn't really in the mood for some random ass old guy-based on the wrinkled hand on the bar top by Mickey's drink-to hit on him, tonight.

"Not interested." Mickey said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Feisty. I like it." The man said, taking a seat next to Mickey. "What's your name, handsome?" He asked, obviously not detoured by Mickey blowing him off. Mickey turned to look at the man, ready to tell him to fuck off until he realized it was Ian's fuck buddy.

"Get the fuck away from me." Mickey said through gritted teeth, ready to burst into fucking tears when he looked at the man Ian had cheated on him with for three months.

"Mick, you okay?" Tanner asked as he walked back over to the bar, seeing how upset his friend was.

"It's him." Was all Mickey said before Tanner-who didn't look very strong with his tall, lanky body, sickly pale skin, icy blond hair, and dark grey eyes-threw a punch at Ned's jaw and lead Mickey out, allowing him to take his anger out on his shitty little car until Mickey sat down on the cold pavement, breathing hard. He hadn't been pissed off at Ian in months-just hurt and confused-but now he wished he'd busted up his knuckles on Ian's fucking face.

* * *

  _Little do you know_

_I need a little more time_

* * *

Ian called Mickey after five months, begging Mickey to meet him at the dugouts so they could talk. Though he really didn't want to see Ian, he felt like five months was enough time for him to see the redhead without breaking down, so he agreed. It was early December, so it was fucking freezing as Mickey, Fester, and Gomez made their way to the dugouts where Ian was waiting.

"Hey, boys!" Ian chirped upon seeing the two Bulldogs, who barked happily upon seeing Ian for the first time in five months. Ian gave both Bulldogs some attention before looking up at Mickey with sad, apprehensive eyes. "Hey, Mick." He said, standing back up. Mickey looked Ian over, seeing that the redheaded man looked much older-probably due to the extreme amount of weight he'd clearly lost-but he still looked beautiful to Mickey.

"What'd you need to talk about?" Mickey asked, wanting to get this over with; he wasn't as ready to see Ian as he thought he was.

"Mick, I fucked up-I know that-but I miss you so fuckin' bad it's killin' me!" Ian said, his eyes looking so sad Mickey just wanted to pull Ian to him; wanted to comfort him and tell him he forgave him, though he couldn't quite do that, yet. "I need you back, Mickey; I never should've fuckin' cheated on you... You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I need more time, Ian." Mickey whispered, knowing he would-without a doubt-take Ian back if the man proved he truly did still want him.

"Whatever you need, Mick, I'll do it." Ian promised, looking at Mickey hopefully. Maybe they could make this work, after all, Mickey thought.

* * *

  _Underneath it all I’m held captive by the hole inside_

* * *

Mickey and Ian slowly started spending time together, but by the end of the day, Mickey always felt the crippling weight of depression in his chest when Ian would return to Lip's-or possibly some guy he was fucking's-house without so much as a kiss being exchanged. Mickey knew-realistically-that he wasn't ready for that, but he missed being with Ian. "Your boyfriend fuckin' hit on me a few months ago." Mickey blurted out one day as he and Ian sat in Mickey's house watching a movie.

"Hard to believe since I don't have a boyfriend." Ian said, though he clenched his fists at his side.

"The fuckin' Geriatric Viagroid we broke up over? You fuckin' forget about me that easy when you're with him?" Mickey asked in an acidic tone that caused Ian to flinch.

"Never forgot about you, Mick." Ian whispered sadly, looking down at his skeletal hands; he really needed to stop losing weight. "And I cut shit off with Ned months ago... Right after we broke up, actually."

"Not as fun once you get caught?" Mickey asked bitterly.

"Not "fun" when the person you love is fuckin' heartbroken over something fuckin' stupid you did. I broke it off right before I went to Lip's." Ian admitted, flexing his stiff fingers out.

"Why are you doin' this, Ian?" Mickey asked, his eyes darting to the two dogs asleep on the floor instead of looking at the very sickly-looking green eyed man at his side.

"'Cause I realized you weren't gonna call me... I thought you would, at first; thought you'd tell me if I ended it we could work it out, but you never called. I spent five months waiting by my phone for it." Ian said quietly. "Lip kept tellin' me to grow a pair and call-beg you to forgive me-but I just... I kept hoping you'd miss me." Ian said so softly Mickey nearly didn't hear him.

* * *

  _I’ve been holding back_

_For the fear that you might change your mind_

* * *

Mickey wanted to tell Ian that he  _had_ missed him, but he stayed silent, fearing Ian would change his mind if he found out how desperate Mickey was. He just sat there, looking at the man who no longer resembled the man he had loved so much, waiting for Ian to speak, again, but he said nothing. In fact, Ian actually looked close to falling asleep. What the Hell was going on with him? Mickey had always been the pale one in their relationship-despite Ian's freckled complexion and red hair-but now Ian Ian's skin resembled melting snow, with his freckles looking more like the small blotches of mud poking through than the beautiful mosaic they had once reminded Mickey of, his once muscular frame now looking small and as fragile as antique China-like if Mickey hugged him he'd break-his youthful face now looked like that of a man in his late fifties, and his once vibrant eyes that resembled shimmering green sea glass now veered closer to a dull, dirty, matte green fabric sample. In short, Ian looked more dead than alive.

"Are you okay?" Mickey asked, shocking Ian as much as it had Mickey, himself.

* * *

  _I’m ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight_

* * *

"It's nothing I don't deserve for hurting you." Ian whispered, only serving to scare the shit out of Mickey.

"Look, I forgive you, Ian." Mickey rushed out, hoping it would change Ian's mind about whatever the Hell was going on with him. "I'll never fuckin' forget what you did, but it's been almost a year; I forgive you, Ian." Mickey repeated, finally looking into those dead green eyes. "What's wrong with you? Are you sick?"

"You have time for me to tell you a story?" Ian asked, a hint of a smirk playing on his chapped, bloody lips. Mickey nodded, thinking "time" had become a theme in their lives without either of them realizing it.

* * *

  _Little do you know_

_I need a little more time_

* * *

_Mickey had broken up with him. Ian couldn't fucking breathe with that knowledge in his mind as he made his way up to Ned's apartment; he had to end this shit if he ever hoped to get Mickey to love him, again. "Ian! I wasn't expecting you!" Ned-Lloyd, Ian reminded himself of the man's real name as he looked at him, wondering what the fuck he'd seen in him when he had someone like Mickey at home-said as he answered the door, smiling so broadly his fake tan looked at risk of cracking. He stepped aside, trying to usher Ian into the apartment._

_"Not gonna be here, long." Ian mumbled, feeling exhaustion and depression weighing him down. "It's over." Ian said plainly, wanting to get the Hell away from this place as fast as he could._

_"What?" Lloyd asked, sounding both hurt and confused._

_"My boyfriend-ex-boyfriend-saw your text. He broke up with me." Ian said, trying to swallow around the lump in his throat._

_"Then what's the problem?" Lloyd asked, sounding fucking happy that Ian's fucking heart was crushed._

_"The_ problem  _is that I fuckin' love him and he broke up with me 'cause I was fuckin' you! It's fuckin' over; I'm not hurting him, again." Ian was pretty fucking proud of how level his voice sounded, right now, considering he felt like breaking down. "Bye, Lloyd." Ian whispered bitterly before walking away._

* * *

  _Away, away_

_I love you like you've never felt the pain, away_

* * *

_"Get your fuckin' head out of your ass, call Mickey, tell him you love him and you'll do whatever the fuck you have to to make him trust you again, and start fuckin' taking care of yourself, again, Ian!" Lip shouted, watching Ian push his breakfast away for the fourth time that week; he couldn't control how badly he missed Mickey, but he_ could  _control his eating, so that was what he was doing. "Ian, man, I know you miss him, but if you starve yourself to death, you'll never be able to get him back." Lip said in a softer voice, sitting down next to Ian. "Tell you what, every bite you take, I'll tell you something you can say to him when you apologize. Sound good?" Ian nodded, looking down at the eggs and toast in front of him._

_Ian took a small bite of toast, feeling sick as it hit his empty stomach. "Good. Okay, so I want you to tell Mickey that-if he takes you back-you'll love him so much it'll be like he'd never hurt in his life; you'll be a better person for him this time around." Lip said, watching as Ian picked the slice of toast up and took another slow bite, feeling proud of his brother for eating something, at all._

* * *

_I promise you don’t have to be afraid, away_

_The love you see right here stays so lay your head on me_

* * *

_Ian only ate when Lip talked to him about Mickey, and Lip couldn't always do that, considering they worked different shifts. In the three months he'd been away from Mickey he'd lost a considerable amount of weight, and looked ready to collapse at any moment. Lip suggested that-when he eats-he writes a letter to Mickey that he could give him when they got back together-he never said "if", knowing that would set back any progress Ian had made-as a sort of reward to himself. Ian took this very seriously, writing a letter on the off day that he actually_ did  _eat something._

**_"Mick,_ **

**_I'm so fucking sorry I hurt you; I never wanted to do that. I kept thinking it wasn't a big deal, right up until I got caught and could literally watch your heart shatter in those bright blue eyes I love so much. I love everything about you, Mickey, and I promise that that's never gonna change; you're the love of my life, and that kind of love never goes away._ **

**_I love and miss you,_ **

**_Ian."_ **

_He wanted his Mickey back so badly it hurt; hurt more than anything he was putting himself through, and he just wanted to go back to falling asleep every night with Mickey's head on his chest and his arms protectively encircling the brunette man's waist, keeping the rest of the world out of their little bubble._

* * *

  _Little do you know_

_I know you’re hurt while I'm sound asleep_

* * *

 Ian fell asleep not long after finishing his story, but part of him was still hyper-aware of Mickey's emotional distress after hearing what he had done to himself by thinking he was in control. He subconsciously shifted closer to Mickey, resting his head on the man's shoulder as he slept, feeling safe and happy for the first time in nearly a year. "I'm so sorry, Ian." Mickey whispered, running his fingers through Ian's hair as the man slept on the couch in the house they had once shared, silently vowing to help Ian recover.

* * *

  _Little do you know_

_All my mistakes are solely drowning me_

* * *

Ian begged Mickey not to make him go to a fucking Mental Hospital to help him work his way through some of his problems, but Mickey told him that he wanted him to get healthy, again, so Ian eventually agreed. He thought going to group therapy would help him when he first arrived, but all it did was make him feel like he was fucking drowning in his own misery after each session. "I fuckin' hate it, Mick." Ian whimpered during one of Mickey's visits, making the older man feel terrible for putting Ian here, even if he still believed it was for the best.

"I know you do, but you're already startin' to look more like yourself." Mickey said, clutching Ian's hands in his own. "This is gonna help; I promise." Ian nodded, though he seriously doubted Mickey was right about this one. He hugged Mickey as tightly as his still-frail body was capable of when it was time for Mickey to leave, wishing he could just go home with the man he loved, already.

* * *

  _Little do you know_

_I’m trying to make it better piece by piece_

* * *

 Mickey may not have thought so-based on how negatively Ian spoke about the group therapy experience when Mickey'd visit-but Ian was really trying to get better; not just for himself, but for Mickey. Ian was taking his recovery very seriously, and was finally starting to feel more like himself. "Hey, Ian." Mandy said as she entered the rec room with Lip and Mickey, thoroughly surprising Ian, as he didn't expect anyone other than Mickey-who had been the only one other than Lip to visit him-but hugged his friend, none the less.

"Hey, Mands." Ian said, actually happy to see his second favorite Milkovich.

"You better be glad I love you, or I'd fuckin' kill you for what you did to Mickey." Mandy whispered, and Ian really believed her.

"I wouldn't blame you." Ian said as they separated, moving to hug his older brother.

"You look good, man." Lip said, patting Ian's arm when the younger man pulled away, feeling a rush of pride at how well Ian was doing.

"Thanks." Ian said, instantly going over to hug Mickey. They hadn't talked about what would happen when Ian left the hospital, but Ian was holding out hope that Mickey would take him back. "Hey." Ian whispered, taking a deep inhale of Mickey's natural scent as they clung to each other for a much longer time than may have been deemed appropriate for two people who had broken up, but Ian didn't give a shit; he was in love with the shorter man in his arms.

"Hey, baby boy." Mickey whispered back, stroking Ian's back as they continued to embrace each other. "You look better." Mickey whispered, not yet willing to break the spell they were under by being back in each other's arms.

"I'm tryin' to be better." Ian didn't just mean his health; he meant everything. He wanted to be a better man for Mickey, and he truly hoped Mickey saw this.

* * *

_Little do you know_

_I, I love you till the sun dies_

* * *

"No Mandy and Lip, today?" Ian asked a few days later as he and Mickey took a walk along the grounds of the hospital.

"No; Lip said-and I fuckin' quote-that I needed to "stop pretending you're just concerned instead of admitting you still love him" so it's just me." Mickey said, shoving his hands into his pockets. Ian stopped, staring at Mickey with wide eyes. "You okay?" Mickey asked, obviously itching for a cigarette as he looked back at Ian.

"You still love me?" Ian asked, trying not to get his hopes up; he had fucked up, and was turning into a lot more trouble than he was worth.

"Always gonna love you, Ian; may not always wanna be with you, but I'll always love you." Mickey said, taking one hand out of his pocket and lacing his fingers with Ian's. "So keep gettin' better and we can talk about it, okay?" Ian nodded, smiling down at their intertwined hands, noticing that his hands looked less like bones and more like a living human being's hands. He was getting better, even if it was taking some time.

* * *

  _Away, just wait_

_I love you like I've never felt the pain,_

* * *

They were back together, for the most part, even though Ian was still in the hospital. Mickey spent every day he wasn't working at the hospital with Ian, talking about random shit from how Mandy dumped coffee on a guy who couldn't keep his fucking hands to himself at the diner to how Fester and Gomez decided they wanted to chase a skunk when he let them out into the backyard one night. Ian would laugh at the little anecdotes, playing with Mickey's hands as they talked, making silent promises to himself to love Mickey so much the other man forgot how crushed Ian had left him. He would do that, for Mickey.

* * *

  _away_

_I promise you don’t have to be afraid, away_

* * *

"You didn't have to pick me up, Mick." Ian said as he cautiously climbed into Mickey's car the day he was released from the hospital.

"You scared I'm gonna fuckin' kill you or something?" Mickey asked with a smirk as  started driving towards his neighborhood; the neighborhood Ian hadn't lived in for a year.

"Not takin' me to Lip's?" Ian asked, watching houses pass by outside his window.

"You wanna go back to Lip's?" Mickey asked, flicking the ashes from his cigarette out his own window. "Or are you ready to go home?"

"You want me to come home?" Ian asked, terrified that Mickey would change his mind and start driving towards Lip's apartment.

"Wouldn't have had Lip drop your shit off yesterday if I didn't." Mickey said, putting Ian's fears to rest without even knowing it. "We're gonna be okay, Ian." Mickey said, trying to reassure himself just as much as he was Ian.

* * *

  _The love you see right here stays so lay your head on me_

* * *

"You're full of shit." Mickey laughed as Ian pulled him closer as they laid in their bed, pretending he was trying to get away, though they both knew he loved Ian holding him like this.

"I'm serious! Workin' out with me is doin' you good." Ian chuckled, running his fingers along Mickey's defined bicep. "Look fuckin' sexy."

"Too tired." Mickey fake whined, rolling over to lay his head on Ian's chest. "Time to sleep."

"Yeah, I know." Ian said, staring down at Mickey in complete awe as the older man traced the lines of his six pack that was finally returning. "Thank you."

"You did all the work, I just held your hand." Mickey said, watching his fingers dance across the muscles of Ian's abdomen.

"Then thank you for holdin' my hand." Ian whispered, stopping Mickey's hand by lacing their fingers.

* * *

  _Lay your head on me_

_So lay your head on me_

* * *

Ian still got tired pretty easily, so Mickey often found himself sitting on the couch with Ian asleep in his lap. This was one of those times, but he honestly didn't mind; Ian had been incredibly affectionate since he had gotten out of the hospital, and Mickey was fucking loving it. "Stop starin' at me, freak." Ian mumbled, cuddling further into Mickey's leg.

"Fuck you, I'll look at you if I want to." Mickey snarked, though he couldn't fight the smile on his face.

"I'm tryin' to sleep." Ian whined, pinching Mickey's thigh.

"Ouch! That fuckin' hurts, asshole!" Mickey laughed, pushing Ian off his lap.

"I'm the asshole? You just pushed me off the damn couch!" Ian groaned, rubbing his sore ass as he stood up. "Motherfucker, that hurt!"

"Stop bitchin' and come 'ere." Mickey laughed, laying down and holding his arms open for Ian to lay down on his chest. Ian happily obliged, cuddling up against his boyfriend.

"I love you." Ian sighed, pressing a kiss to Mickey's chest.

"I love you, too." Mickey replied honestly. They had a hard year, but at the end of the day? They would love one another to the end of the world.

* * *

_'Cause little do you know_

_I love you till the sun dies_

**Author's Note:**

> This is the longest oneshot I've ever written, and I'm not really sure how much I like it. Leave me some comments to let me know what you think and leave me some song suggestions. Much love!


End file.
